After School

Before we get into a conversation about Australian children’s television show Johnson and Friends, I need to address something. DID YOU KNOW THAT THE JOHNSON AND FRIENDS CHARACTERS WERE PEOPLE WEARING COSTUMES? 

As a child I always assumed that the show was created with some form of animation or puppetry. Nope. It was actors in huge costumes, performing in an over-sized set. Did you know this? Is it just me who didn’t know this? Did you know that some of those actors went to NIDA? 

Honestly, I don’t know what to believe anymore. Next you’ll be telling me that Zooper Doopers aren’t really from outer space. 

But I digress. Johnson and Friends aired on the ABC from 1990 – 1997. The show centres around a group of toys who only come to life when their owner, a young boy named Michael, is out of the room.

As the title suggests, Johnson, a somewhat pedantic pink elephant, is our protagonist. His friends are McDuff the concertina, Diesel the truck, Squeaky, a robot who believes the vacuum cleaner is her mother, and Alfred the hot water bottle, who is perpetually grumpy (I relate to him deeply.)

The show is aimed at pre-school aged children and I have some fond memories of watching it as a kid. There’s fun theme music, bright colours and the toys come to life and have adventures! So when I recently sat down to rewatch a few episodes, I expected it to be cute but innocuous, just as I remembered it. Little did I know that Michael’s bedroom is actually a pretty messed up place. 

Who died and put Johnson in charge?

For no discernible reason, Johnson is the leader of the group of toys. He doesn’t appear to have any particular skills, other than the fact that he is one of the only characters with arms. Although, Diesel’s problem solving skills consist of threatening to squash, run over or flatten anything that upsets him, so perhaps Johnson is the best leadership option after all. McDuff and Diesel turn to Johnson for help anytime anything happens. And some kinda dark shit happened in Michael’s bedroom. 

The moral of the story is what?!

In an episode called ‘Victoria Gets Swapped’ , Victoria, a toy dinosaur belonging to Michael’s sister, seeks help from Johnson and the gang because she fears she’s going to be swapped for another toy. Apart from being reminiscent of the plot of Toy Story 3, Victoria is thoroughly distressed about it, having been swapped once before and it’s honestly quite upsetting to see the fuzzy orange dinosaur relive her trauma. 

In ‘The Toy Hospital’, McDuff is gravely injured after having a box of fishing tackle dropped on her and is taken to the toy hospital by Michael’s mother. After she’s been gone for a full three weeks, the rest of the toys conclude that she is never coming back, and they should just try to forget about her. 

You guys, what?!

I honestly don’t know what message this is supposed to impart to children, but combine these scenarios with the unblinking eyes and frozen expressions of some of the characters, and you could be forgiven for being traumatised by this show as a kid. 

In another episode called ‘The Loose Tooth’, the toys think Michael’s teeth are going to fall out, and that his parents will think he’s broken and swap him for another child, a concept that I’m sure wasn’t at all upsetting to the show’s young viewers at the time. In this same episode, we also find out why Alfred is so grumpy. 

“It’s alright for you, you’re just a toy to be played with,” he says. “But as a hot water bottle, the whole of Michael’s health and welfare depends on me!” 

Which actually goes a long way toward explaining Alfred’s personality. The guy is clearly under a lot of stress. 

It’s interesting that given my fond memories of Johnson and Friends, I obviously didn’t find particularly upsetting as a kid. Perhaps it’s down to the naiveté and lack of life experience we have as kids that means we don’t recognise the true gravity of situations. For instance, when one of your friends is about to be swapped for a plastic necklace. I’m keen hear your memories of the show too, readers. Did you find it fun or frightening? Do you think the toys should have mutinied against Johnson and his mediocre leadership abilities? 

After rewatching Johnson and Friends, I now have really mixed feelings about one of my favourite childhood shows. And I don’t know if it says more about me or the show that the grumpy hot water bottle who lives under the bed with a banana skin for a blanket and a mouldy baked-bean sandwich for a mattress has turned out to be the most relatable character. So, in true Alfred style, I’m going to retreat under the bed and just be a bit grumpy about it all.